Swallow Your Ego

We have all come into situations of conflict that flew by so quick that it makes you wonder what the hell just transpired? That shook you from a good and cozy mood into one of anger or sadnesss. Its a moment of weakness, where you just gave in to your raw emotions and made you think selfishly.
Like:
"hang on a sec, why am I taking this crap from this person? I don't need to!? What the hell am I doing? They should just piss off and stop making me feel bad, I haven't done anything wrong so why do I feel like i'm being looked down on? Why does that person talk to me in such a way to make me feel inferior?".

And in that instant you react to your thoughts and feelings, you end up hurting that person and you can even justify it. But not too long afterwards, you become 'yourself' again. The self that everyone knows you to be and the self you always assumed you were, but where did that dark side come from? That action based solely on instinct?You start to realise what you have just done, the consequences, the impact...the wrong.

That person didn't deserve what you just said, you were suppose to be there for them. Especially if they might have their own problems at the moment. So how can you assure that person that you want to be there after cracking that one instance? How to reassure that person that you did not mean to? Does it mean you have to get on all fours to beg and say sorry? Doesn't that just bring you back into an endless loop of "why am I on all fours? I don't have to take this crap from this person, why am I apologizing?..."
And thats where it gets us, kills us even...fucking ego! We just have to learn to swallow it and move on. Because no matter how bad it may feel, it will ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS seem so stupid and worthless when you think back on it...shameful even! 

"Even the most genuine people have their demons. You know, you look at others and you see their flaws. "Oh this person is shallow." "Oh this person is creepy." And you think that what you are is perfection in a sense, but you're not. Even if you wish or think you aren't affected by judgmental people, you are, to some extent. But I find that with me, it's like a mood, or a temporary emotion. A state of mind where your ego takes over and swallows you whole, exposing the ugly part of you. After a moment, you can regain control and see how petty you were for giving in.
Sometimes, these moments of weakness are a healthy thing. It shows you that you must fight for what you believe in, sometimes even with yourself. Even with what you were conditioned to believe. That's when you know you found yourself. The real you. The person people haven't told you you should be. The person no other soul aspired. Just you."