Tuesday, 5 February 2013

The Darkness Without

The light in the horizon, suddenly extinguished by a momentary eclipse which forewarns a future danger.
You see the shadow being cast, but you refuse to believe it is only momentary, and you prepare yourself for eternal darkness.
But its not something done lightly, for when you prepare for eternal darkness, you must shed the light you hold. And so you try to cast away the apparant light you have within you. You change substantially, becoming someone you once swore to never become. Once you lower your standards, there is no raising them again. You are stuck forever with the darkness you sought, but there is still hope...as the eclipse elapses and there is light again.
Shining straight on you, revealing who you are and leaving you bare, naked in the sunlight for everyone to see you for who you are, but more importantly for you to see what you have become. Disgusting and tainted, something even you do not want to see, nevermind others.
You feel everything is lost and you don't know what to do. Its not the end of the world, and thats the worst of it, because you feel at your own end while everything is just seamlessly going on ahead.
All is not lost however, because as you found out about the temporary darkness, so is everything else just temporary. And you get better eventually, only through realization and detachement.

It seems like an eternity, until you find yourself again, and you start again. But its not like before, you lost your light, but you grow a new one. Maybe not as white as the last one, but a light nonetheless...It doesn't matter what colour your light is, you all have one, and with it do you crave to share and receive the light of others, the love you seek is unsatisfactorily provided by others and you move on and on seeking more and more of that tight gut feeling that makes you do crazy things.

Ultimately, you look up. For something thats worth it all, for something fulfilling. And you are not wrong when you seek love.
Its just that you were searching in the wrong place, it was there all along, inside you...

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